For The Rest of Our Lives

The others had long since gone, and the Tartarus was silent. The two of us seemed so small sitting on the wide deck of such a large vessel which itself seemed small in the vast planet’s core. We sat together, saying nothing, staring into the planet storm while we waited for the end to come.

Finally, without looking at me, he broke the silence.

“You shouldn’t have come.”

My eyes wandered over his form; knees pulled close to his chest, head resting on his arms and facing away from me so that I had a clear view of the nape of his neck. He rarely looked so vulnerable.

“You don’t want me here?”

He pulled his head from his arms and looked down at his knees with a knotted brow. He gripped the cloth of his sleeve.

“It’s got nothing to do with whether or not I want you here. It was so stupid and reckless to tag along on this mission, and now look where you’ve got yourself. You’re going to die here with me.”

I traced circles on the ground with my finger.

“I don’t mind dying with you.”
“What?”
“I came because I was scared… That you wouldn’t make it back. That’s not the right phrasing. I knew it was a suicide mission.”
“You came here to die?”
“So did you.”
“Why?”

I looked forward thoughtfully.

“It just seemed so much nicer than living on in a world without you.”
“…”

Silence returned. After a few moments, I slowly inched my hand towards the spot his was resting. I touched his hand with my fingertips. He didn’t resist. I covered his hand with mine.

“I…” I spoke up, “I don’t… mind dying with you. But if… If it were possible… I think it would be really wonderful if we could both live until we’re old and gray together.”

“That’s not possible for me anyway. I’ll die according to the Score, along with those other Ion replicas.”

“But you’re not Ion. You’re not in the Score. And neither am I. So we could, you know, choose our own fate.”

He snorted.

“You’re pretty naïve.”
“All I know is that I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
“Well, I guess you got your wish.”
“Yeah.”

A few more moments of silence passed. I watched the colors in the core swirl.

“Hey,” I said.
“Mm.”
“Will you… Will you marry me?”
He looked up with an incredulous expression. “What?”
“Will you?”
“Did you hit your head?”
“No, I’m serious.”
“That’s impossible. You know that.”
“All I’m asking is if you would.”

He sighed, and thought about it. After a while, he said, “Sure. Why not.”
“I’ll love you forever.”
“Yeah, yeah.”
“In the name of Yulia Jue, I now pronounce us husband and wife.”
“You don’t have that authority.”
“Is this really the time to be a stickler for rules? We’re about to die.”

He let out a guffaw.

“You’re really unbelievable.”
“No, I’m your wife.”
“Whatever.”
“Will you kiss me?”

He stopped, and looked at me. We stared at each other for a moment.
I repeated myself.

“Will… you kiss me?”
“I…”
“You don’t have to. But, you know, since we're married and all…”

We stared at each other for another moment.
Slowly, clumsily, he brought his hand to my face and brushed my cheek lightly with his knuckles. I leaned in just a bit closer while he did the same. Our faces were close enough now to feel each other’s breath. Trembling, I closed the distance.

It was brief, and gentle. Just a few seconds of his scabbed lips on mine before separating with a barely audible smack. The only other parts of our bodies touching were our hands, and an awkward brushing of the knees. It took a few more seconds for my eyelids to flutter open.

“…Thank you.” I said.
“…Sure.”

I sighed.

“This is the happiest moment of my life.”

A few more quiet moments. Then, I heard him chuckle, which turned into a laugh. I turned to ask him what was so funny, but there were tears streaming down his face.
He wiped his face with his sleeve.

“You really are… Such an idiot.”